U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
