I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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