Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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