ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
