you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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