i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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