Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
