Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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