I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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