it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
