Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
