I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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