So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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