Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You took a bar mat shot.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
