He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
