Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
