so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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