so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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