My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize