just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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