If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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