someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
