dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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