It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
