I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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