OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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