He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
she peed on how many people?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
