a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
