I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
