ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
