His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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