Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
