Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
