he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
