"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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