I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
