just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
