The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
