I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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