hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
