Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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