god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
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HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
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After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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