I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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