she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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