well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
