Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
