Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
