I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
