i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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