My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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