Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
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he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
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So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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