i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Never underestimate the power of titties
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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