Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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