I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
