grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
