areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize
