There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
