I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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