The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
