dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
