PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
