Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
