I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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