I'm sorry my penis didn't work
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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