my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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