i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
