I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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